My breast feeding days are well over. My kids are grown up and my nipples managed to rebuild themselves back into the sexual love plugs that they once were. As any breast feeding mother understands, babies chew your nipples up like a piece of Hubba Bubba at a street carnival. They need time to heal.
I did however start lactating again when I had an IUD inserted a few years ago. Before you get all excited thinking that my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, it’s not quite worthy of a porn hub video. There’s no squirting. It’s more like pre-cum. Hardly a party trick.
For those that don’t know, an IUD is birth control for middle aged women. I needed to do something about birth control, because I have an unrealistic fear of becoming pregnant. Like, even if I haven’t had sex for months, if my period is a few days late I’m like…. ‘uh oh’. We all know it’s about time Jesus had a brother.
I guess the IUD tricks my body into thinking its pregnant. Maybe it can trick my boss into letting me have maternity leave.
Anyway, Mo-Flow tea is de-lish. Did it make me flow like a mo fo? Well, no. But I think that’s a good thing in my case. You don’t have to be lactating to enjoy it, but it is a thoughtful gift for those women who are trying their hardest to not bellow like a jersey cow every time their little bambino takes a nipple nibble.
It’s got Stinging Nettle Leaf and Milk Thistle Seed in it. And Mandarin peel. Thats sounds like something you’d rustle up in the primary school playground, but these formulas have been passed down from woman to woman for many years.
Get your cabbage leaves ready and get milking with MO-FLOW (Mothers Milk Support Tea)!